“Your truth tends to determine the people you attract and those within your inner circle. If you are not attracting the right people, examine the truth you are sharing.” – Jeffrey G. Duarte

Do you have those people in your life who don’t support your dreams, put down your ideas and discourage you from trying new things? 

How about that person who zaps your energy and leaves you feeling depleted and defensive? 

Consider that you might have people in your life whose attitude is costing you time, energy and money?

This week in Unstoppable Mindset, I sat down with Real Estate Agent and Joyful Life Designer Yetta Dekker. Discover how we have learned to protect our inner circle and why we are selective about who gets to influence and impact our lives.

The single most significant influence on your life is the people with whom you spend the most time. These people shape who you are. They influence your thinking, communication and emotions. They either increase your energy by feeding and inspiring you, or they suck your vital life energy out of you with a negative view of the world. In the words of motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Your peers and influencers can determine what conversations dominate your attention as well as the behaviours that shape your character. Negative people have a negative impact, while positive people have a positive effect. We can unconsciously emulate the attitude, patterns and energy around us. Therefore, who you choose to spend time with is essential.

The people (and what you read, what you listen to, what you watch, etc.) have a substantial impact on your finances. Why? “Environment is Stronger than Willpower.” When you are around people who trigger your feelings or activate your fear, they consciously and unconsciously shape your thoughts, self-talk and your actions. If success is what you desire, it is crucial to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who hold you to a high standard and create an environment that moves you towards your goals. When you cultivate relationships with people on a similar journey, staying on course becomes a little easier. Just being present to the impact someone has on your state of being is powerful. 


Creating The Space For Abundance To Flow

When we begin the journey of self-transformation or seeking to uplevel our business, not only does the relationship with ourselves change, our relationships with other people and situations change as well. As I began to change and grow, I found I had little in common with many of my friends. What I wanted to do and how I wanted to feed my mind changed, and I became more conscious of how I spent my time. As a result, some relationships became strained, and people soon exited my life. I felt alone and desperately wanted to fix it. Instead, I learned to surrender to my feelings. I believe the experience of being alone is a necessary part of the journey. My time alone allowed me to focus and grow without distraction. It also gave me the time to meet new people and create a new circle of influence. In my new circle, I soon attracted people who had achieved what I desired. Individuals who demonstrated what was possible and modelled the mindset, attitude, and habits I needed to embody to achieve my goals.

Let’s look at the key ways the people in your Inner Circle should contribute to your life and goals.

  1. Share similar core values, beliefs, and guiding principles; Your Inner Circle should include individuals with different skills, diverse backgrounds, and varied experiences.  What binds you are common beliefs and values and hunger for growth, innovation and continuous learning. 
  2. Become the smallest fish in the pond; One of the best ways to do something you’ve never done before is to model someone who has already accomplished it.  Although your relationships should be mutually beneficial, risk being the newbie in the group. Be open to becoming the mentee who can learn and grow from your peers’ experiences, views, and perspectives. Seek out people who have skills/qualities that you admire and learn from them. 
  3. Surround yourself with leaders rather than followers; Ensure the members of your Inner Circle also have big goals and dreams. Together you will celebrate who you are becoming and what you have accomplished. Remember, it is iron that sharpens iron. 


The reality is people are either pulling you up, pulling you down, or keeping you comfortably in neutral. Join the Mindset Mastery Mastermind to connect with like-minded individuals who understand the power of relationships and a supportive environment.