“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
Do you label events as “good” or “bad” and have predetermined responses to both?
Do your emotions get the better of you in times of upset or disagreement?
What is your usual reflex? Reaction or Response?
Consider that your communication is a by-product of all your experiences, values, and beliefs. It’s your past being activated and then acted on in the present.
In other words, the perception you have about your past or future, IS influencing your communication in the present.
Watch the video to learn the mastery habit of Communication. Discover why it’s your past events that are creating your present. Explore how you can stop reacting and start responding by perfecting your communications skills.
What is Communication?
The Oxford Dictionary defines Communication as: the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. …The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.
This definition relates to skill sets associated with active communication. I believe that how we communicate is a by-product of all our experiences, values and beliefs. In other words, your thoughts and perceptions about your past or future influence and shape your response in the present. Your communication is triggered by the emotion you felt from the past event.
Here are 3 practical tips you can use to get started to train yourself to respond rather than react:
1- Pause, Get present to your thoughts & feelings!
Take the time to become aware of what you are feeling when faced with any given situation. Pause and allow the emotion of the event to pass. Your ability to communicate effectively and powerfully requires you to be calm and rational.
2- Tune in to your Internal Dialogue!
Your internal dialogue is the communication you have with yourself. Your communication to the world is influenced by your self-talk, positive or negative. Reflect on a situation where you reacted. What was your internal dialogue? How are these past thoughts, feelings and internal dialogue impacting you in the present?
The ability to respond and communicate from a place of power requires self-awareness and practice.
3- Shift Internal Dialogue to Be Fully Self-Expressed!
After the process of self-reflection, you are now able to move from reacting to responding. What will you choose to do or say? Change happens when you become aware that the event has passed and the chatter in your head is just the unresolved emotion from that event. You can now choose to shift your internal dialogue and powerfully respond.
This week focus on one event, belief or experience that may be running you in the background. Use the 3 steps to begin to master your communication.