Presence is not a personality trait.
It’s a practice.
by Suzan Hart | The Influencer’s Journey Show | 4 min read
What if presence not performance is the real differentiator in leadership? And what if it isn’t something you either have or you don’t, but something you practice every day, in every room you walk into?
The confusion between presence and performance
There is a version of leadership that our education and training handed to most of us without asking whether we wanted it. It came with a title, a set of expectations, and a quiet pressure to look certain even when we weren’t.
Somewhere in all of that, presence got confused with performance. We started leading louder, moving faster, managing harder; mistaking activity for impact and control for confidence.
The leaders who actually move people are not the ones doing the most. They are the ones who have learned to be the most present.
Three circles. One intersection. That’s where the magic lives.
Kye Husbands doesn’t think about leadership as a hierarchy. He thinks about it as three overlapping circles: management, leadership, and innovation.
Management is the foundation, consisting of certifications, timelines, and governance. Necessary, but incomplete. Leadership is how we show up and how we influence the people we work with, because nothing we accomplish happens alone. Innovation is the environment we create — the space where people feel safe enough to try what hasn’t been tried before.
Here’s what gets lost when leaders lean too heavily on management and leave leadership and innovation behind: their teams become technically compliant but never truly committed. Projects deliver on paper but fall flat in practice. Innovation gets talked about in every meeting, but never materializes in the room.
“Presence is what makes all three circles work together. Without it, management becomes control, leadership becomes instruction, and innovation never gets the safety it needs to breathe.”
— Suzan Hart
What presence actually looks like
In practice
Presence looks like preparing our curiosity instead of our argument before a difficult conversation. It looks like entering a room without our armour — not because we’re weak, but because the armour that protects our status is the same armour that keeps our team at arm’s length.
We build our presence in the small moments. The one-on-one where we actually listen. The meeting where we ask a question rather than provide a solution. The high-pressure moment where we regulate our emotions before we respond — because our team is always watching how we handle what we didn’t plan for.
Under pressure
In a world where uncertainty is at its highest, the leaders who will survive are not the ones who control the most variables. They are the ones who can enroll the most people. Enrollment is not motivation. It is what happens when someone genuinely believes that the vulnerability we experience when showing up fully is worth it.
Not just for the outcome but for ourselves, and the impact it has on our teams.
A moment from the conversation
Kye and I landed on accountability — and I want to be honest about something I’ve come to believe deeply.
Most leaders think their title gives them the right to hold someone accountable. On paper, it does. But that’s often when accountability becomes threatening, feeling like enforcement rather than care.
What I’ve learned is this: before I can hold someone truly accountable, I must allow them to know me, to understand my values, and to trust that when I hold up the mirror, it doesn’t feel like a threat. It feels like someone who sees them and is committed to helping them see themselves so they can grow.
“Our title gives you authority. It does not give us the right to hold someone accountable. We each must earn that right.”
— Suzan Hart
Four practices of presence
1. Regulate before you respond.
Your state is contagious. Your team doesn’t need your reaction; they need your steadiness.
2. Ask before you answer.
The leader who always has the answer is the leader whose team stops thinking. Replace one solution with a genuine question each week.
3. Earn the Right before you hold someone accountable.
Before you hold someone accountable, ask: Have I given this person enough of me for them to trust that this conversation comes from care, not position?
4. Model, don’t mandate.
We cannot ask our team to show up fully if we are not showing up fully ourselves. Culture is what we demonstrate, not what we declare.
Closing reflection
Kye said something near the end of our conversation that I keep returning to: leadership begins where certifications end.
The real structure of a leader originates from something no certification can hand you. Presence!
Presence is the willingness to put the armour down and step into the uncertainty of truly leading people, not just managing the work they do.
Presence is not the soft option. It is the strategy. And in a world where AI is doing more of the technical work, it may be the only differentiator that is truly yours.
REFLECTION QUESTION
Think of the leader who had the greatest impact on you. What did their presence make possible for you? And who are you making that possible for right now?
This article was inspired by a conversation with Kye Husbands, serial innovator and founder of Vested, on The Influencer Journey Show, hosted by Suzan Hart.
Full episode available on Spotify.
